Karen DeLabar

I’m a snacker. I like to eat and I like to do it while I write.

I usually reach for the pretzel sticks, my current snack of choice, when I’m stuck and I’ve been stuck often. I guess I can be thankful that my snack is pretzels and not cheeseburgers.

For me, I think it stems the fact that I need something to do with my hands.  Ask my friends, I can be very fidgety. I’m either using my hands to help me make my point while talking, or tapping my fingers, biting my nails (a terrible habit, don’t do it), playing with my hair…I could go on.

When I get stuck when writing I just can’t sit there and think about what to do next. I need to literally chew it over, usually on a pretzel, but its been carrot sticks or almonds. Some sort of snack has to be within my reach or else I’m stopping altogether to hunt down a snack.

Even though the majority of eating while writing is just snack foods. Occasionally I’m situated in front of the computer over a meal, like now. Now I am eating a taco, not computer friendly food, but I’m managing 😉

Not only can eating while writing add more inches to your waistline than words to your manuscript but it gets your keyboard all icky. I often joke that I can turn my computer over and an entire meal would fall out of it.

However, I guess it’s better to feed your computer than to have it steal food/drinks from you. If you want to know what I mean, venture into #pubwrite one night on twitter and ask @EMJenkinson about her evil drink thieving keyboard.

Leave it up to me to make a liar out of myself. Two weeks ago I posted a story about my love of reading entitled Books, Books, Books…And Books. In the post I shared my love of the written word and how I can knock back between 5 and 8 books a week. I’m ashamed to say that since writing that post I’ve read a total of ZERO books.

I don’t know what happened. It used to be that if I didn’t read something during the day I would get cranky. How is it possible to go from reading everyday to reading nothing? I’ve bought books during this time, in fact I’ve bought 18 books to be exact. So, I guess I still have a problem there. Phew. It’s good to know some things don’t change. 😉

Most of those books were written by fellow writers I’ve met on Twitter and I am genuinely excited to read their works. However, when I sit down to read one my mind starts wandering and I end up staring at my Kindle.

I have also noticed that in these past two weeks I’m finding it increasingly difficult to write. Connection? Most likely.

When I was reading I was inspired, I was constantly surrounded by words and ideas. Now, I feel like a zombie just going through the motions of my day waiting for night time to come so I can go to bed only to wake up the next day to repeat the monotony.

Sparky has asked me countless times if there is anything on my mind. I give him the honest answer, “nothing”, because there is honestly NOTHING on my mind. It’s like a fog up there.

However, due to a back injury last week I have had plenty of time to lie around thinking about my dilemma.

This is a very busy time for me. The show I’m involved in opens at the end of the month meaning that the pressure is on to fulfill my responsibilities for the publicity committee while making sure I have mentally prepared perform on the stage.

I have recently joined my church’s choir to help out with Easter services. Why I added this to my plate, I don’t know? Oh wait, yes I do. Its because I can’t say ‘no’. To anyone…ever.

Even my gym time that is supposed to be a chance for me to get away, has been adding to the stress. I’m rushing to get everyone dressed, fed and out the door so I can make it to class on time.

I’ve concluded that by the time I get to sit down to either write or read I’m completely brain fried.

Lucky for me, I hurt my back. This injury is making me stop running from rehearsal to rehearsal to the gym to play dates and just lie around and get better. Today, after 4 days of recouping on the sofa, I decided to pick up a book..er, well, my Kindle, but you get the idea.

It was like running into an old friend and picking up right where you left off as if those years in between weren’t there. My Kindle felt right in my hands as I snuggled into the warm embrace of my soft sofa. I forgot about all my responsibilities, I forgot about my back pain, I forgot that it was raining outside and I left the windows open – none of that mattered.

What mattered was that I was becoming inspired again. I felt my brain working, taking in the words and envisioning the scene as it played out in my head. It felt good. It felt damn good.

Am I ready to go knock out 2,000 words tonight? Probably not, but I do have some ideas that I jotted down and that made me feel good. All I can say is that I’m back to reading and I’m confident that my ability to write without hesitation isn’t that far behind.

 

 

This has nothing to do with writing, reading, Scotch or anything remotely close to my journey to publication. (Yes, Scotch is very important to that particular journey.)

Sparky sent this to me in an email and I got a chuckle out of it so I thought I’d share it with you. *Note I didn’t take the pictures or make the captions.

(However, now that I think about it, I may use these pictures and come up with my own captions or story – make them little writing prompts. Hey, look at that, I turned it into some type of writing thing. Go me!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lab has baby squirrel pinned down….and…Mother sees it (from above)!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mama Squirrel to the rescue!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She attacks the dog so the baby can get away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mother consoles baby and… Look at the dog’s face. This has to be what he is thinking… “What the hell just happened? Did I just get my ass kicked by a squirrel???

This is something I’ve never had to deal with before and its freaking me out.

Here I sit with my computer before me all ready to lay down the words that have been living inside my mind for the past four weeks. I’m ready to give a voice to the dark haired man with eyes that flash a vibrant blue at unsuspecting women causing extreme confusion and frantic calls to optometrists.

Yet, here I sit. I’m staring at the blank page with that cursed black cursor and nothing is happening. Nothing. I can’t think about how to start the story but yet, I do. Are you confused yet? Because I sure am.

I’ve been talking about the opening scene and following chapters so much lately that the words should just be pouring out of me. I’ve set the opening up in my head that I can see it right now. However, when I go to put my thoughts into words nothing is fitting.

I’ve tried just writing hoping that the words will just come to me; that I just need a kick start. It didn’t work. I felt the writing was so bad it was distracting me. In fact, everything is distracting me.

The woman blowing her nose so loudly that I’m waiting for an elephant to come charging in looking for his mate is distracting me. I’m thinking about how I just spent $115 at Old Navy and how I need to return some things before Sparky finds out.

But what I’m really thinking about is that I’m not good enough.  I’m thinking I’m fooling myself into believing that I can do this.

I really hate thinking this way. So, before I started writing this post I tried writing little exercises to get the juices flowing. Its like the well has run dry. How is that possible?

Like I said, I dream about this story but when it comes time to writing I freeze.

Am I putting too much pressure on myself to write?  Am I comparing myself to other writer’s and their writing habits? Is it because I can’t write everyday I feel I’ll never be where they are?

The answer to all three is “yes.”

I just want to be good, who doesn’t? I just want the confidence to write my story without comparing myself to others. I used to write for me, I don’t know when I stopped, but I did. And it sucks.

But I’ll keep trying. If I don’t these characters will never leave me alone; which is good. Somebody needs to give me a swift kick in the butt. Too much complaining and not enough writing, right?

Do you ever get into a funk with your writing? How do you get out of it? Do you keep on writing every day no matter what comes out of it, or do you allow yourself to take a break now and then?